05232024.Thursday

Comes

Hmmm. Questions to ask a potential date?

Let’s see.

What you really need to know is how it is to spend time with them. Questions are all fine and dandy, but if you can’t actually spend time with them and see if you’re compatible in the same room, it makes it tough to judge the quality of the human that’s in front of you. 

But with that said, it’s also good to keep the conversation flowing so you can stave off the physical aspects for a while. I’ve found that once the physical part of the relationship kicks into high gear, then it can take a toll on the discovery stage of a relationship.

The discovery stage stops about the same time the pants come off. 

At least in many cases.

Sure, you’ll still get to know someone and people will reveal more of themselves. But the physical aspects get a bit more lead billing.

So.

Questions.

Yes, maybe questions are a good idea. Are you dating through apps or in real life? Because it might be worth having a questionnaire that you ask all potential dates. Then you can compare answers and compare your feelings and responses. 

How many things do you want to know?

Interview questions, if you will. 

The risk in interviewing a potential date?

Feeling like you’re always interviewing and taking some of the fun out of the discovery process. Transactional. Throughput. Dating becomes about efficiency rather than just connection.

So here.

Let’s stare at the stars and see what comes up.

Let’s put ourselves in stillness
and the things you need to know
about someone will begin to emerge.

Kindness. Caring. Conscientiousness. 

Curiosity. Generosity.

Music. Activities.

Dietary restrictions.

Drinking approach.

Work them into another activity, like laying on a beach towel near the shore. Or playing pool.Running a race. Sailing.

Sitting still on the edge of wading pool, letting your feet and fingertips cool off in the hot summer sun. 

It can be situational, too.

You can see where they’re at by observing.

Taking note.

Setting up a scenario, such as going for ice cream and passing a fountain where people throw coins in and make wishes. 

Do they have a passport? Where have they gone? Where would they go?

Maybe it’ll be more interesting to you to know how they prepare their morning coffee; it could tell you about their ritualistic nature. 

Perhaps it’ll be curious to see how their childhood friends came to be in their lives. 

What if you just took the time to see what happened?

Give yourself some minutes and some patience to see where things lead?

And instead of worrying so much about the questions, think more about the feelings you have when you’re with this person. Are they expansive and serene? Exciting? Anticipatory? Do you need to recharge after seeing them, or do you feel energized and peaceful once they’ve left your orbit?

Tell me something: how do you think about yourself?

How do you like to be portrayed?

What’s your best, most authentic self? 

Figuring you out will go a long way toward helping determine questions for you and a potential date. 

😉DAD

When in doubt, sleep on it.

Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes shared their perspectives (finally) on a team member's recent commencement speech. It's a good reminder for those of us who can be a little Judgy McJudgerson.

Here's DAD's Soundtrack of the Day, picked especially to go with today's question. Enjoy!