03192024.Tuesday
He thinks if we get married and have kids, then we’ll turn into our parents. But I think we can define our relationship roles how we want to, and work together to keep our lifestyle different from the patterns we grew up with. How do I get him to see domestic life can be great?
External
Now. If you’re cool with just being partners, not getting married, not having children, then stay and stop dwelling on his resistance to the topic.
Because if you really want to follow the “traditional” path and he really doesn’t buy in….
You’re likely headed for a breakup.
It’s up to you.
It’s ok to walk away.
If he wanted to forge a new path with a wife and child(ren), then he would do it. Yet since he’s bringing up these blockades and barriers to you two taking the next step, then I have to say that he likely is not the person for you.
Are you willing to give up your dream in favor of his resistance, risking becoming resentful yourself by not following the path your heart want sot embark upon?? Or are you willing to branch out, move forward without him, and open yourself up to the possibility of a relationship that has all the loving qualities of this one AND a possibility of marriage and children?
Now. The bigger question is for you: do YOU want marriage and kids? How important is that on a scale of 1-10?
He is telling you he doesn’t want marriage and kids, nor does he want to figure out how to be married with kids AND continue to live a lifestyle different than the one he grew up with.
Are you going to fight his resistance and hope he “changes his mind,” thereby risking a life of living with someone who’s vaguely resentful of your situation? Or are you going to walk through your fear of being alone and/or giving up on the years you’ve already invested in favor of a life that’s even better and more rewarding than it currently is?
Now. Because you wrote in to me…I’m thinking you’re probably not cool with the status quo…and you probably really DO want marriage and kids.
And you know what? YOU get to decide. You get to choose what’s the right path for you. You get to walk away or stay. You get to determine your future, and you get to see your thoughts become things.
So.
There’s a gap between your positions.
Is he worth staying with?
Only you can answer that question.
Here's DAD's Soundtrack of the Day, picked especially to go with today's question. Enjoy!
3PM by HM Surf